Feature: Fixed Fate Decodes “Won't Wait Here”
Is there a person/event that stimulated the creation of "Won't Wait Here?"
A little of both. At the first half of the 2020s, I really allowed myself to slip into a dark place of social isolation and addiction. I keep the lyrics somewhat vague, but the whole idea of the song splits the difference between speaking directly to someone I used to know telling them they aren't going to treat me like a door mat anymore (about 3 years too late!) and grappling with the anxious thoughts you have when you're in the beginning of recovery. I think of it as a positive song, sort of a "you can hold me down, but you can't keep me there" mentality.
Were there any challenges or breakthrough moments during the songwriting process for this song?
The real challenges were leading up to this song. I had about a thousand half-baked ideas that were never seen through to completion, I was worn out mentally and physically, stressed about where I'd go creatively after my second album ‘Icarus,’ and being in a place like that really makes you doubt what you're doing is worthwhile. I remember towards the end of 2023 I was basically at the end of my rope, I'd resigned myself to not caring about...anything really including music, physically too sick to get off the couch, 9 days off smack, just in a visceral place. About 4 am rolls around and of course I'm not sleeping for shit, and this brief little melody comes into my head. I hadn't properly written a song basically that entire year- and all of a sudden this basically fully formed idea just starts pouring out of me. I wrote the whole song in about 30 minutes and I just remember this immense feeling of pride and relief like "I CAN still do this. This isn't a finite well I'm pulling from" and that was a really positive development for the headspace I was in.
How does "Won't Wait Here" fit into your overall artistic vision and what can listeners expect from you in the future?
Well, unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your angle) that wasn't the end of the story. Fast forward almost exactly one year, I'd already gotten the pesky business of relapsing out of the way and it was time to get clean for real. I did the whole rehab trip and over the course of 28 days I wrote an entire record mulling over where I was at and where I was going. It really was a beautiful experience, not just the writing, but the whole time being there. I met good friends, tragic characters, and tons of people WAY more interesting than me, plus all the downtime gave me a second to just chill the fuck out and gather myself. With that said- album gets written- I come home and it's time to get to work. I've spent the first half of 2025 recording that record called Pink Cloud Syndrome. I see Won't Wait Here (and my other new single Reflections) as these sorta standalone lead ups to that full concept. (I believe the industry calls those "singles") These two are pretty soft, but for people that like my heavier stuff- don't fret! There's plenty of venom and vitriol coming on this record too!
What first got you into music?
Listening to heavy metal in my dad’s truck as a very very young kid. Supposedly, Master of Puppets was my cradle music as a baby - thanks Dad! (; I'm not really sure why it first grabbed me so much but ever since I can remember I've just had this tunnel vision for finding new music and creating it myself. You could call it an obsession at this point.
What are some of the biggest challenges you have faced as a musician, and how did you overcome them?
Getting people to listen! Everybody's got that problem though. There's so much out there that people who are much more casual about it can get burnt out on all the "HEY HEY LISTEN TO MY NEW SONG- HEY LOOK OVER HERE - HEY GIVE ME JUST A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME" It can be a hard reality to accept, but not everyone wants to hear your stuff. And that's cool. You can invite the whole world to the party but not everyone is going to show up, just enjoy the ride and keep doing what sounds right to you.
