“It Was Never My Pain to Own”: <3peace. on Trauma, Faith, and Making Music That Heals
Punk Head: You’ve said this song comes directly from lived experience, not inspiration. How did you know when you were ready to turn memory into music?
<3peace.: I knew it was time to release this when the lyrics flowed from me as I was playing the guitar. I felt the release of the pain as I was uttering the words an I knew instantly this was more important than my unresolved pain and that it would be used as an outlet to free others from the same. It became a sanctuary for me to heal and reflect. I felt led to extend that peace to whoever is drawn to listen in turn.
Punk Head: You describe trauma as something you bonded with rather than ran from. Was there a moment in your life when that perspective shifted?
<3peace.: Yes, particularly when I started to experience more significant trauma, I began to realize some of the earlier memories didn’t equate to my current state. There is came to understand trying to isolate moments as good or bad is detrimental to growth. I came to see that there is good in all situations. The sun shines at night; it’s all a matter of perspective and where you are in relation.
Punk Head: The use of solfeggio frequencies gives the song a ritual quality. Do you see TRAUMA BOND as music, prayer, or something in between?
<3peace.: I would definitely say something in between. I’m an avid believer in the Bible and Christianity. This piece was made to be an intercession to GOD amidst my own struggle on behalf of the listener. The prayer is just as the lyrics say, “take this pain I own”. While the song and frequencies act as a catalyst for the healing.
Punk Head: Recording this on a rainy day after a snowstorm feels symbolic. How much does the environment shape your emotional output when you’re creating?
<3peace.: The environment is everything. Science has proven that your environment is vital in even gene expression, which can cause you to be in a diseased state or an at ease state. A gloomy day is the perfect backdrop to this melancholy ballad.
Punk Head: You mention using trauma to help save others. Does carrying that responsibility ever feel heavy — or does it give the pain purpose?
<3peace.: Yes, it does feel like I have a huge burden that I can’t bear. But in turn, that’s why I give it to GOD, as it was never my pain to own, but I see it as the creator allowed me to claim it as a fundamental motivator in my destiny. Now, because I’ve experienced so much, I find the burden worth it if I’m able to save and bring peace to even one lost soul. That’s my purpose.
