Audren On the Making Of “When Freedom Dies”
Punk Head: You call “When Freedom Dies” a soothing protest song — which is such a fascinating contradiction. What does rebellion sound like to you when it’s expressed through softness instead of anger? And vise versa?
Audren: Why would I need to express myself through anger? I was a child once, and now I am a mother of two, and it is clear that, at any age, anger never helps anyone to make things run smoother. Anger is hostile and uncomfortable. There is no wisdom in fury. It's simply a metabolic process. Many people prefer to flee rather than confront anger. I don’t want my music to scare people with stressful warnings and authoritarian injunctions. It's a shame that rebellion is often interpreted as an act of war. That’s probably because people won’t be heard unless they shout and fiercely show their discontent. However, songwriters don’t have to become aggressive to be heard. Quite the contrary, the use of poetry and comforting harmonies in any message of rebellion provides the audience with opportunities to embrace and personalize the song. As a lifelong supporter of freedom and free will, I don't want to impose anything, but I am glad if my music can improve people’s lives.
We are being spied on through our phones and filmed everywhere; free speech is disappearing; there is nowhere we can genuinely feel safe; therefore, I tried to provide a shelter-album where anyone can take refuge.
The song “When Freedom Dies” serves as a warning not to follow the herd. It was made to heal, to soothe, and to give the listener food for thought.
Punk Head: You’ve linked the song’s message to your battle with Lyme disease — a deeply personal, isolating experience. Can you tell us more how illness shaped your sense of truth and mistrust in systems, and how that showed up in your music?
Audren: Lyme disease is a total nightmare. It’s very hard and long to diagnose it because tests are ineffective, and once you have a diagnosis, it is difficult to find qualified medical professionals to help you. I've met over 50 doctors. I could write a book about their ineptitude and the ridiculous things they said. When I questioned their claims, they often reacted harshly because they believed they were some sort of untouchable divinity.
Furthermore, what they were unable to explain was categorized as psychological disease.
It's always the same old song, and not a good one. They pretend the medical authority's decisions are unquestionably correct.
I searched all over the world for help and information. It was more than challenging for me because I had neurological issues, meaning my body was in excruciating pain and my brain was unable to function properly. I couldn't understand what I was reading, got lost in the street, and had trouble adding two plus three... I was able to begin my healing process after I located a good and empathic physician in Germany and joined associations. Like many chronic Lyme patients, I now know more about Lyme than 95% of doctors. Sometimes, even
Lyme-literate doctors can be disappointing at times. Once they hang their diploma on the wall, they stop searching for items that are not in their books or prescribed by the political, medical, or pharmaceutical authorities of their nations.
The same thing occurred with Covid. Years later, we understand that we were told stories about where the illness came from and how to cure it. However, it was difficult not to let politics manipulate us in that situation. The fear of dying led many people to do nothing and blindly follow orders.
It was probably that same fear that told me to follow my instinct, and I am glad I did. If I had followed the crowd, I probably wouldn't be responding to your questions today. When you’re ill, you realize that you must demonstrate foresight and sagacity if you don’t want to end up like a guinea pig.
Now, you probably understand why I had to write a song about free will, misinformation and disinformation. If they only listened to their insights, many people could escape suffering and losing their freedom.
Punk Head: There’s a hypnotic, jazz-infused undercurrent running through the song. Was that improvisational spirit intentional?
Audren: It was completely intentional!
My upcoming album is all about freedom, and improvisation is one way to express that.
The musicians I usually play with are jazz musicians at heart, and they all poured their hearts and souls into their performances.
My life partner, jazz guitarist Chris Rime, is also the producer of this album. We both wanted to craft some deeply human songs. Music that AI wouldn’t be able to create. We only used real instruments and no autotune. We even recorded a symphonic orchestra on two songs. When real people play real music with real instruments and improvise, the interaction is unique. If some other people play the same track, it will never sound the same. The sound of each instrument depends on who’s playing it, the improvised part is always different. And, if the same musicians were playing the song again, it would also be like telling another story, because things are always happening around us, awakening our senses. It could be someone passing by, the smell of the croissants you brought to the studio or the light bulb starting to flicker... whatever! Thoughts pop into our heads and life goes on! In this broken and uncertain world, Chris and searched for humanity through music. We wanted to feel the musicians breathe between the notes and hear their fingers sliding on the strings, all those human details that tell the story of an instant, and show us all that it's still possible to exist fully, and vibrate together.
A tormented jazz phrase, played simultaneously by the guitar, piano and bass, reappears several times as an alarm to potential danger.
Punk Head: The bridge hits with that raw, shouted line — “Tell me where is freedom!” Can you tell us what was going through your mind when you wrote or recorded that moment?
Audren: To avoid turning paranoid, many individuals choose to follow the crowd, thereby allowing the oligarchy to control their lives. I needed to talk about disinformation and talk to people wearing those kinds of absurd blinders.
I was totally into it when I recorded this bridge. Almost crying. I was thinking about some of my friends that have been brainwashed and still believe in everything they learn from the media.
The song offers wise, friendly advice, but the bridge imposed itself like a necessary wave in these relatively calm waters. We are all concerned by the frightening evolution of collective consciousness and the loss of our fundamental freedoms. Insisting on that subject could not be a bad thing. It's time to leave behind those who lie to us. It's time to stand together for freedom and follow our inner wisdom.
Punk Head: You’ve described yourself as a “good witch” and a “healer.” How do those identities influence the way you create — are you channeling energy, emotion, or both when you write?
Audren: When I'm writing a song or a book, I often feel as though someone is dictating the words to me. It's a very strange sensation, because I have the impression of collaborating with someone who knows exactly what they want. Sometimes I even write about events that will happen years later. I feel imbued by people and nature. I feel that I am you and you are me, we are the trees, we are the stars, we are the universe! And this is not some kind of reassuring posthippy/new age concept that I’ve adopted to give meaning to my existence. This impregnation is just something that I’ve always felt, and that has been occasionally disturbing. I can sometimes predict the future especially when it involves danger to people. I can sense people's thoughts as well as their lives, I'm also very connected to nature and animals. I can revive plants by talking to them (I know... I might sound crazy... but I don't care :-). I can't sleep during full moons. I also have a few memories of past lives.
I serve as a kind of vector for caring, entertaining and thoughtful energy. For me, creating goes beyond a form of self-expression. I'm totally open to channeling the positive things I receive. It’s also something I couldn't live without. My mission is to heal and uplift people by giving them food for thought, and bringing them joy through my art.